Posted July 6, 2007, 3:40 pm

Nom Nom Nom

First off, Jeffrey Rowland’s 4th’o’Julie comic takes 1st prize.

Before the patriot-fever is totally out of your system, let me detail the experience that was my most American day ever. (Coincidentally, it was also the fourth of the July.)

Wake up too early, check email on cellphone because laptop is on the other side of the room. Pay-per-kb, but it’s fine since I’m employed.

Wake up later, check email on cellphone again from under covers. Decide to get out of bed and “cleaned up”.

Get out of bed two hours later. Drive with brother and cousin to nearest In-N-Out burger, animal fries and a neopolitan milkshake for breakfast (…becoming a habit).

Spend nearly forty-five minutes driving around parking structure connected to mall. Spend nearly two hours wandering around mall connected to parking structure, no roller coasters inside. :(

Watch TRANSFORMERS: advertisements in disguise. Feel strange new attraction to big shiny cars, skinny white women, and products that could in some fictional explosion riddled world possibly be transformed by extra-terrestrial quantum energy into sentient and flexible machines bent on product placement. Pray to Jesus that the terrarists don’t team up with Megatron.

Come home, drink (root) beer, pass out. Never forget!

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