Posted March 17, 2007, 4:31 pm

From the rails.


Train south from Chico to San Jose - #11” The Coast Starlight”

Train was supposed to come arrive at 3:40, but it didn’t. Stayed up until 5:45 am making conversation in the lobby of the Chico Amtrak “station”, and supposedly a good case for vegetarianism too. Got onboard at 5:50 and quickly fell asleep.

Woke up to sun exploding through orchards in full bloom. This really is the most beautiful state I’ve ever seen. Even without having been to any of the big-name attractions, or even a taste of the wilds, I think I might be in love. May my explorations only lead that love to expand and enrich. The passenger in the window seat next to me closed the curtain not long after, spoiling my view, but he can’t hide the love below.

Fresh haircut and I want to live a better way.

Readings on the applications of Buddhist philosophy have left me with mixed feelings. While I’m disappointed to learn that traditional Buddhism asks wives to be soft-spoken and submissive. The more mystical aspects and flowery language describing the divide between this world and that of the enlightened, is just that, mysticism and flowery language. Same play, different actors, religion is whack.

The pragmatic advice on how to live well in terms of understanding Duhkha and Tanha seems to me, but I have no faith in the concept of Nirvana. If all is suffering, then all is suffering always, and not “just until you get the super-bonus-enlightenment-powerup”. That was crude, my bad, I just fail to see the need for an ultimate end to justify the means. The Noble 8-Fold Path sounds awful good to me, sounds like what I would like to be. I’m getting to that age (older) where screwing around and fucking up actually screws things up and I end up getting fucked around. Finding myself with a desire for internal discipline, and searching for a way to live well, the facets of of Buddhism that I can swallow may prove beneficial, down the hatch.

Very rarely have I cut my hair without at the same time initiating an emotional re-calibration. With less hair I am a different thing, hopefully a better thing.

I decided Diana was going to cut my hair months ago, and when she cut it two days ago she asked why I chose her but I avoided the answer. I chose her because I hope some day to be close enough friends with her to ask her to cut my hair. Jump the gun much? I find myself in constant admiration of her, and I’m sure it will be a quite a while longer before I’m used to everyday finding new reasons to respect her, or character traits that she embodies so well and I wish I could represent. Maybe it’s because of her age (older still), or the geographic disparity between our upbringings, that makes her so awesomely new to me. Whatever the cause, it feels as though I’ve never met anyone like her before. She is a Good Person. Every time I attempt to define her, the way we all do with our socially calculating brains, I fail and it only makes me like her more. I’ve met what must be an uncommonly high number of these Good People in my 19 years of research, and none of them have failed to amaze me yet. Keep on doing it to it, you Good People.

ALSO, daily A.J.C. continues, but won’t be uploaded until I return to my scanner, hold tight.

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