Posted July 25, 2010, 9:40 pm

Eats in Boston

Here’s what I’ve learned so far:

Burritos in Boston will underwhelm if you’re familiar with real Mexican/Mexicali food. They are often too small, not warm enough, not at all spicy, and overpriced. Sometimes they are filled with steamed cauliflower though, and this is good because it is delicious. Repeat business is rewarded with improved burrito girth.

Exotic fruits should be tasted, even if their flesh looks like massive huddled larvae inside of an oak gall.

If you are eating at a Korean restaurant you may not want to order an appetizer. There’s a fleet of small dishes already on it’s way to you table, and it is called Banchan. Most of the items are vegetable, many are strange and exciting. Try them all. That kimchi is going to be gross though, just saying.

Bubble tea is delicious. The sunken boba are like little pearls of goo ball goodness, but they can easily be spoiled in preparation if under- or over-cooked. Don’t choke on them! Milk teas are often sweeter than the black or green teas. If you get a tea with plums in it they will be overly sweet.

There is a Burmese place called Yoma that make excellent noodle dishes, fresh and pulpy tamarind juice, and both pork and ice cream salads.

Frozen yogurt that actually tastes like yogurt will blow your mind.

The breads of Asian bakeries can be unbelievably fluffy and good, inexpensive too. A good loaf of white bread can become a cake.

It’s hard to poach eggs, maybe spinning the water faster before dropping them in would help keep them together?

There is a pastry shop in Somerville called Patsy’s. The middle-aged Italian woman you’ll most often see behind the counter is not Patsy, but will politely respond to the name. Her bakery sells pizza and calzones in addition to some of the richest desserts you can find at very low prices. More calories poor dollar will not be found. Repeat business is rewarded with a reduced grimace from the woman who is not Patsy.

Duck eggs are worth habituating.

If your girlfriend’s employer is paying for the meal you should go ahead and order that second root beer. Her co-worker ordered the lobster, so go nuts!

Pizza on the East coast is better than you remember. You can order a pizza “Using Your I-Phone” from the nearest place, but the second-nearest pizzeria is better. If you walk down there you could probably talk yourself into getting some of their soft serve ice cream too.

There’s a bagel place in Allston called Bagel Rising that is staffed entirely by cool looking kids. As far as I know they actually are cool, and they’re nice too. The jalapeƱo cream cheese is hot enough for me. The bagels are fresh. Enough said.

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